Do not give up....
I know this post is rather late now...but it is better to be late than never...i finally changed my mind.....at first i thought...well i will just let it be...i am no longer able to contribute my support and care for someone i treasured so much....i would say the person is one of the most important person who walked into my life and at the same time who walked out....i thought i would just let him do what he likes and do not even bother if he has given up in something.....but it actually hurts my heart whenever i hear the response "sure die d...dun care la"....from the tone...although i did not hear it in the form of sound but only see it in the form of words...i could tell he was disappointed and has told himself that he doesn't want to bother anymore...personally...i put in a lot of effort in creating a situation where hopes are in abundance.....but somehow i didn't manage to fulfil in what i wanted to do.....i started it nicely....it went on to a climax and a great fall came in after that....to me, it was then my duty to create a comfortable and supportive atmosphere but today it is just merely a hope that i put in.....i really hope you won't give up so easily in whatever you're pursuing...not only in the upcoming ye sales.....but in anything else.....i really hope that you will one day develop a firm and sensible strength within yourself....do not sway from the path....i filled in every single small details i could, but it is still not enough....and i realised i can't change you...only you yourself can create hopes for yourself.....do keep this in mind....the key is be strong and firm...at the right time for the right things....
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Baby Buggy Bunny....
As i flipped through my file, i found my long-no-use notepad which has Baby Bugs Bunny as its motif. It sudden'y reminded me of a long lost relationship..when i was fondly called Baby Buggy Bunny....i don't know why....why everything just can't be deleted of my mind??Is it true that humans have fond memories in their long term memories that can't be deleted??How i wish....it will disappear as i wake up the next morning. It brought back so much sweet memories i used to enjoy....Someone please enlighten me....why...why until now everything just stays in place in my mind as though it just happened last night? I have not exactly described about the Kuala Kangsar trip i went....but as the bus stopped by the petrol station.....it just came in a flick.....that was the exact petrol station and the exact place where the bus i took to KL last december stopped....I remembered it was then....under the moonlight of a december midnight....when....i shall not elaborate further about that though...i was wondering why such a small thing could bring back such great memories...if i had a choice i had rather not remember all those....my heart ails....humans....are always selfish.....who can blame me for feeling so upset for losing something i treasured so much to someone.....I really wish upon the stars and the moon...that everything will disappear from my thoughts and life would start anew...i regret....life was much better before being a baby buggy bunny.....at least i knew i had a great friend who will always be there for me then....but now...it is a different story.....
As i flipped through my file, i found my long-no-use notepad which has Baby Bugs Bunny as its motif. It sudden'y reminded me of a long lost relationship..when i was fondly called Baby Buggy Bunny....i don't know why....why everything just can't be deleted of my mind??Is it true that humans have fond memories in their long term memories that can't be deleted??How i wish....it will disappear as i wake up the next morning. It brought back so much sweet memories i used to enjoy....Someone please enlighten me....why...why until now everything just stays in place in my mind as though it just happened last night? I have not exactly described about the Kuala Kangsar trip i went....but as the bus stopped by the petrol station.....it just came in a flick.....that was the exact petrol station and the exact place where the bus i took to KL last december stopped....I remembered it was then....under the moonlight of a december midnight....when....i shall not elaborate further about that though...i was wondering why such a small thing could bring back such great memories...if i had a choice i had rather not remember all those....my heart ails....humans....are always selfish.....who can blame me for feeling so upset for losing something i treasured so much to someone.....I really wish upon the stars and the moon...that everything will disappear from my thoughts and life would start anew...i regret....life was much better before being a baby buggy bunny.....at least i knew i had a great friend who will always be there for me then....but now...it is a different story.....
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Failed.again
It feels like my head is cracking...not from the overloading of history facts but i don't know....i just feel so...after reading something...not books but just a mere testimonial. I closed my eyes to relax....it ended up spinnning...yes....my head went spinning....im feeling very pressured now....time after time i thought i will be alright but again time after time it failed me....time is running short.....though i admit dat time will never end but to me three months is more than enough for any miserable nonsense....but i really tried really very hard but why....why.....it still feels like i just got stabbed in my heart exactly like how i first felt...i lose control of myself....it is as if i have gone mad or perhaps a screw went out of place....i know it well enough that nobody will believe what i said about going unstable.....but u will know what i mean when you see it... It's an awful n sad sight...it's not fun holding onto my own head and struggle to calm down....no i don't need a psychiatrist or a psychologist......i just need someone to actually think and care about my feelings.....
It feels like my head is cracking...not from the overloading of history facts but i don't know....i just feel so...after reading something...not books but just a mere testimonial. I closed my eyes to relax....it ended up spinnning...yes....my head went spinning....im feeling very pressured now....time after time i thought i will be alright but again time after time it failed me....time is running short.....though i admit dat time will never end but to me three months is more than enough for any miserable nonsense....but i really tried really very hard but why....why.....it still feels like i just got stabbed in my heart exactly like how i first felt...i lose control of myself....it is as if i have gone mad or perhaps a screw went out of place....i know it well enough that nobody will believe what i said about going unstable.....but u will know what i mean when you see it... It's an awful n sad sight...it's not fun holding onto my own head and struggle to calm down....no i don't need a psychiatrist or a psychologist......i just need someone to actually think and care about my feelings.....
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