INSPIRED.

You guys must be wondering what finally made me update my blog......the thing is I'm Inspired by someone's post!... So sad that it's no longer To Inspire (sggs edboarders!!) but rather i need others to inspire me....there are too many things going on in my life right now.....too much to be blogged....

I used to enjoy life....and everything that comes with it.....I like wasting time (my favourite past time, no kidding eh)...I like staring blankly into the ceiling with soothing music on the background...I like to chat on msn.....I like playing violin.....I like attending orchestra practices....I like to chat over the phone like nobody's business with my close pals.....I like to spend time with my family and friends...I like to be active...I like to get involved in projects and succeed in them...I like the feeling of achievement...I like going up on stage getting prizes....BUT

ALL of these are the things that i am no longer able to do....maybe I should add a suffix -ed to all the likes above....

Life here in UM is really crazy....or like how my friend Reuben used to say to me "madness"!!! I have tests (mid-sems) every single week from the 2nd week of this semester up till now!..I used to like tests and exams...I looked forward to them but not ever since I came here.....I got so stressed up that i no longer know how to let go and relax.....I get tensed muscles all the time....I am deprived of sleep to the extent I now have permanent dark eye circles....

And all the activities are draining off the little of energy left in me.....I changed from someone who was able to hold important posts, take pressure, committed, multi-task and yet achieve what i desired to a person I no longer knew....I became reclusive....I only want to be in my room (hostel) and do not want to take part in any activities.....I no longer have the confidence to deliver.....as a result, I quitted UM Debate training on the 2nd week here (I got into that because I won the Intercollege Orientation Debate, by luck i guess).....I then quitted Pesta Tanglung UM in my 2nd month here.......What more can i say?

I, being a person who loves to visit new places, gain new experiences didn't join the Chinese Community (CC) trip.....and didn't join most of the meetings and outings....but there are also events which I can't say NO as an answer.....For instance, the recently concluded Entrepreneurship Day.....it's part of my Basic Entrepreneurship course (yeah you read correctly, I'm doing Science...but this is Business....it's a mandatory course for all...even if you're medical student)....

and then Pesta Tanglung CC came along (last night that was).....I was the emcee....I spoke minimal mandarin for two reasons...One, the administrators disallow the usage of mandarin or somehow that's what I was told..I have got my D to write me one Chinese script actually before I was told about that...Two, I'm half a banana who of course can communicate fluently in Mandarin but hello, it's communicative mandarin and not the formal kind needed to host an event ok! I can't even read.....how do you expect me to use all the formal words....but at the end of it, someone showed displeasure by saying this to me "Wahh...ohhh now you can speak mandarin d hoh?" Sarcastic bugger.....I only got one thing to say to this bugger "You're sick and stop making yourself so low and shallow" shame on you for being supposedly a senior!

and I figured...the audience didn't know what "Let's give them another round of applause" means......wow....I'm surprised....I don't want to talk much about this anyways...but I have done my best to accomodate the VERY VERY last minute changes.....and be gone with it....

Next up on my list is two more tests next Thursday...then it's study week already....I have not studied a single bit of anything....aiks....going home on 24th.....then having my finals from 3rd nov to 17th nov......I will be off for home on the 18th....I can't wait to chill out with my secondary school pals...Guys, Good Luck in STPM o!!

I think I ought to change my blogname soon to LIFE...instead of DREAMS...because Dreams no longer exist in my life here.....*a big sigh* and off to bed~~